Humor - "The Adventures of Curry Dog"
This incident happened a few months ago. The events are true but the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent and the befuddled... This was written by my Wife, a.k.a. the Hellcat.I have a little tale for your amusement. A story of thriftiness, deceit, and mass consumption. It involves a man in a beret, a Jack Russell terrier, a tub of curry chicken and a bewildered dog owner. I will tell the tale as it was relayed to me by the bewildered dog owner (ChowderHead). It begins yesterday when ChowderHead (CH) returns home from work. I am not home and have not been for a number of hours. As is often the case upon returning home, CH is greeted with the smell of food. Usually I am cooking, or as was the case yesterday, his father (the man in the beret) has dropped off something for us to enjoy. Unalarmed, CH proceeds to be greeted by our dog, Dim-dim. Dim-dim rolls over to allow CH to rub his belly. CH, while rubbing notices that the dog's belly has a sort of "Captain Kirk-like" roundness to it and thinks to himself that we will have to cut back on the kibble. The next step is the all-important, letting the dog out. Once outside, the dog produces what I will describe as a "noteworthy bowel movement" (CH used a more vivid description in his telling). Only after letting our little friend back in and wiping his paws is CH's attention drawn to the kitchen floor. There lies an empty take-out container. Those of you who know CH's dad know that he is both old fashioned and penny pinching. He cannot be bothered by new-fangled notions of food born bacteria, but he will NOT be accused of overworking a refrigerator by placing warm food in it. By now I am sure you have put all the pieces together, but in summary let me say the man in the beret has agreed to put food in the fridge regardless of temperature, the Jack Russell terrier still smells of curry, the tub of curry chicken is history, and the bewildered dog owner - well he remains forever bewildered but that is another tale altogether.
As an epilogue: Dim-dim smelled of curry for 4 or 5 days after this incident.
posted by ChowderHead @ 7/05/2006 09:40:00 PM
5 Comments:
You know, that story still makes me laugh to the point of passing out.
Good. It's his dark gift.
Dim-dim has earned his kibble for the day!
I have tears in my eyes. The story is even better when told in person. You forgot to mention the "courtesy flushes"!!!
Michelle: The story is an e-mail my wife sent to just about everyone.
I am more potty mouthed and graphic so I go into more detail about his bowel movement. And a few drinks don't hurt my storytelling either!
Suffice it to say when a 20 pound dog eats 2 to 4 pounds of food and then has to relieve himself there will be Q-U-A-N-T-I-T-Y. (Much like what would we do if we ate 10% to 20% of our body weight at one sitting. I know I wouldn't be very comfortable.)
TMI warning: Stop here if you don't want to know more otherwise you have been warned....
So anyways Dim-dim scoots outside and proceeds to relieve himself. I change out of my work clothes. I go see if Dim-dim is ready to come in and he's still pooping. And I notice it's a rather large pile. I go grab a glass of water, come back and he's still going. But he's moved over a little bit and continued with his previous activity. I dubbed this action his "courtesy flush" since the pile had reached his butt and there was no way for him to flush all he could do was move over.
I was amazed and impressed he could hold it until I got home.
LOL!!!! You are lucky he held it until you got home. That would have been a mess!!
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