Sister
Maybe we spent too much time together growing up & working together. Maybe it has to do with 2 strong personalities with strong opinions. Maybe this is how brother’s & sister’s get along. Maybe we’re more alike than I’d like to think. Whatever it is, my stress level is always elevated when my Sister is around. I’m trying to be better about “letting go” and not being pissed at her actions but it’s tough. I’ve tried not to be so vocally critical of her the past few years. But sometimes she does things that just confound and piss me off.#1: Why? Come up to “Take care” of the Dad. And then make all sorts of evening plans to go out to dinner with your friends. HC says it’s fair and OK since she’s around in the morning and afternoon. I think if she wants to see these people she should come up another time. Her reason for coming up this time was to take care of her Father who was going to be recuperating from surgery.
#2: Why? Say you’re a morning person but don’t end up getting out of bed until after I’ve made Dad breakfast and/or I am heading out the door to go to work? I’m not a morning person. Never have been. Never will be. Would never say I was. 1 morning I heated up breakfast for my Dad. The next morning my Dad heated up his own breakfast. It’s not the cooking that irked me since my Dad is more than capable of cooking for himself. It’s the I-came-up-to-take-care-of-you-but-I’m-still-sawing-logs-like-crazy-when-you-need-me that bothered me. Again, HC said my Dad is not a subtle man. If he needs something he’ll let you know. If he wanted her to make him breakfast he would have let her know. Very true but still it bugs me. Interesting fact is: she got up early (6:00 am) to get her ass back to DC?!? Funny how that happened…
I think it has to do with our differing thoughts and feelings about duty & responsibility. She’s always been the 1 to do just enough to get by. She can/could do so much more but has always chosen to do just enough to get by. For example, she could have gotten A’s in school but B’s took less effort. She’s smart and talented and could do anything she set her mind to. But she chooses not to.
I was required to do the best I could. Sometimes better than I thought I could. B’s were not an option. “I’m the son. It’s my responsibility to _________. It’s my job to ________”. Failure is not an option. Doing poorly is not an option. I must be better than everyone else. No time to relax there is always a task that needs to be worked on.
Maybe I’ve got it wrong and my sister has it right. I’m driving myself to excess stress and an early grave. Maybe I need to slow down and just get by once in a while. Maybe I need to not be pushing so hard. So critical of myself and others.
I’ll need to think on this. This may be another revelation… I’m on a roll!!!
Labels: Family, frustrations, Parents, Rant, Update
posted by ChowderHead @ 6/19/2007 01:32:00 PM
3 Comments:
Hmm...interesting questions you've got there Chowderhead. And I have no real good answers!
PW: There are no good answers. I'm going to try to not have expectations/reduce my expectations of my sister.
Not to say she doesn't have her own personal problems and issues at the moment. (divorce, work, etc..) But if you're coming up to attend to someone, then focus on that. It might be a nice distraction from what she had going on.
True, but sometimes (okay, most times) most people are too self centered to see what's going on around them.
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