How do people do it?
How do people drive with a headlight burnt out and NOT use turn signals?I had to take my wife's car to the garage today because it was having all kinds of electrical problems. Starting with the turn signals not working. And the radio and interior lights acting weird. Then when I was driving it this morning, I noticed 1 of the headlights was out.How do people drive with a headlight burnt out and NOT use turn signals?I was constantly paranoid on the drive over to the garage I was going to get in an accident because people didn't know I intended to shift lanes or to turn. And since it was early, I felt like I was driving blind with 1 headlight out. It made driving very uncomfortable this morning. And yet there are plenty of people who don't use turn signals. In fact if they come on in their car it's because the turn signal stalk got bumped...The garage was able to fix the loose ground wire. So my wife's car is up & running properly again.Labels: Cars, Darwin award candidate, inconsiderate people, Random things.., Rant, riddle me this, stupid people, things I don't understand
A driving observation
Now that I've been on 2 Miata Cruises I've made an observation: Lousy drivers are lousy drivers. - It doesn't matter what they're driving. I used to think the reason people in SUV's were all over the road was because it's an SUV. (High center of gravity, blind spots galore, heavy, mushy truck suspension, etc...) I hate SUV's for many reasons but 1 of them is the way they're all over the road. But on these cruises, I saw people driving Miata's all over the road too! There's no excuse for it. It's a small, highly maneuverable car. It'll do exactly what you make it to do. So that's 1 less thing I can say about the machine versus the driver.
Labels: Cars, Miata, Random things.., Rant
Since I’m on a rant…
I know another part of my funk is:
I’m tired:
- Of busting my ass at work.
- Of co-workers not doing their jobs.
- Of being continually under the stress of being outsourced/laid off/right sized.
- Of always being conscious of my financial situation.
- Of having to work more than play/rest.
Between work and school, I've been at it for over 30 years and damn I'm tired. I’ve been working since I was 10 or 11 and I’m tired. There’s got to be more but I just don’t know what it is. I’m going to take more breaks during the day to try and keep from burning out further.
Now for the ridiculous….
I’m tired:
- Of people on cell phones. Do you think you’re alone? We can hear you & your inane conversation.
- Of stupid drivers. Do you mind paying attention to what you’re doing with thousands of pounds of moving metal?!? Maybe there’s more than just you on the road!
- Of stupid drivers on cell phones. Again, do you mind paying attention to what you’re doing with thousands of pounds of moving metal?!? Maybe there’s more than just you on the road!
- Of stupid people.
- Of self-important people. The world in general DOES NOT care who you are OR how important you think you are.
- Of lazy people.
- Of people with more money than brains.
- Of people that have no business having children and yet they do!!! There are tests, licenses, and taxes for everything else. Why not having children?
- Of people.
As for the ridiculous list. Well, it’s ridiculous. I was on a roll so I thought I’d throw some of my pet peeves in there.
I’m a bit disillusioned with life at the moment. I’m not sure what I was thinking being a grown up was going to be like. But I guess I thought there would be “more”. I don’t mean I thought I’d be ruling the world or have a gazillion dollars. But I thought there’d be more to life than getting up, going to work, taking care of people, and doing chores at home.
I need to find and do fun things.
I know everything happens for a reason. And everything that’s happened has made me who I am. But damn it I’m tired of it all. There are days I’m tempted to get in the car after work and just drive. And not stop until I hit water (Pacific, Atlantic, Arctic, Ant-arctic)
Labels: frustrations, inconsiderate people, jobs, Random things.., Rant
Step up!
My crank, angry, and stress factors have been going up as of late. It’s taking a lot less to set me off. It’s taken me some time to figure out what’s up.
Part of it is: I’m mentally & emotionally exhausted. For the past 10 years, we’ve been attending to sick parents. All 4 of them have taken their turns and had their episodes. (Other than my Dad, all of it long term conditions.)
This last episode with my Dad really got me upset and thinking.
I’m fed up:
- Of always being the ones (HC & I) who “step up” and take responsibility for things.
- Of siblings not helping out with parents & their issues.
- Of siblings picking and choosing what they want to do, what they don’t want to do, and when they want to do it.
- Of always having to be the “Better person” and step up, or having to place my needs on the back burner.
How come it’s always us? How come we don’t get to pick & choose? How come it’s always us taking care of things? How come we always have to be the “Better person”? Where’s my “get out of responsibility” card?
If everyone stepped up and/or cooperated it’d make it easier for all concerned. I know I’m not perfect. I know I have flaws but come on people step up!! Just a little?
I know I can’t do much about getting others to step up to responsibilities. All I can do is adjust my attitude about it. Maybe try not to get so worked up about it. Maybe try to avoid them so I don’t open my mouth and say something I’ll regret later. It is what it is. They are who they are.
Labels: Family, frustrations, inconsiderate people, jobs, Parents, Rant, things I don't understand, Update
Sister
Maybe we spent too much time together growing up & working together. Maybe it has to do with 2 strong personalities with strong opinions. Maybe this is how brother’s & sister’s get along. Maybe we’re more alike than I’d like to think. Whatever it is, my stress level is always elevated when my Sister is around. I’m trying to be better about “letting go” and not being pissed at her actions but it’s tough. I’ve tried not to be so vocally critical of her the past few years. But sometimes she does things that just confound and piss me off.
#1: Why? Come up to “Take care” of the Dad. And then make all sorts of evening plans to go out to dinner with your friends. HC says it’s fair and OK since she’s around in the morning and afternoon. I think if she wants to see these people she should come up another time. Her reason for coming up this time was to take care of her Father who was going to be recuperating from surgery.
#2: Why? Say you’re a morning person but don’t end up getting out of bed until after I’ve made Dad breakfast and/or I am heading out the door to go to work? I’m not a morning person. Never have been. Never will be. Would never say I was. 1 morning I heated up breakfast for my Dad. The next morning my Dad heated up his own breakfast. It’s not the cooking that irked me since my Dad is more than capable of cooking for himself. It’s the I-came-up-to-take-care-of-you-but-I’m-still-sawing-logs-like-crazy-when-you-need-me that bothered me. Again, HC said my Dad is not a subtle man. If he needs something he’ll let you know. If he wanted her to make him breakfast he would have let her know. Very true but still it bugs me. Interesting fact is: she got up early (6:00 am) to get her ass back to DC?!? Funny how that happened…
I think it has to do with our differing thoughts and feelings about duty & responsibility. She’s always been the 1 to do just enough to get by. She can/could do so much more but has always chosen to do just enough to get by. For example, she could have gotten A’s in school but B’s took less effort. She’s smart and talented and could do anything she set her mind to. But she chooses not to.
I was required to do the best I could. Sometimes better than I thought I could. B’s were not an option. “I’m the son. It’s my responsibility to _________. It’s my job to ________”. Failure is not an option. Doing poorly is not an option. I must be better than everyone else. No time to relax there is always a task that needs to be worked on.
Maybe I’ve got it wrong and my sister has it right. I’m driving myself to excess stress and an early grave. Maybe I need to slow down and just get by once in a while. Maybe I need to not be pushing so hard. So critical of myself and others.
I’ll need to think on this. This may be another revelation… I’m on a roll!!!Labels: Family, frustrations, Parents, Rant, Update
Parents...You can't live with them. You wouldn't be alive without them.
The story behind the yelling & screaming on my Dad’s part last week: (Sorry it took so long to post this but I was a bit too mad to write about this rationally)
The Daddy-O called out of the blue last Wednesday afternoon to see if I’d paid the Real Estate taxes yet. I was annoyed because he 1) called me at work 2) over something so trivial and 3) I didn’t have the answer for him.
I remember replying in a frustrated “I don’t know?!” He didn’t like my tone, started yelling, and hung up. Like a dumb ass, I called him back right away to try to talk to him. I should have let him cool down a bit before calling back. (I take after him. If I’m mad it’s better of you let me be mad for a bit before talking to me. I’m not ready to talk. I’m ready to scream. I’m ready to say mean, angry, nasty, irrational things.) Anyways, I called him back and he continued his rant and hung up on me again.
Background:
1) The Daddy-O has been a bit sad/depressed about my Mom’s passing. She’s been gone over 4 years and he’s really been good about her not being around. It was rough in the beginning but he had been good since then. The past few months he’s been a bit moody and irritable. He’d also bring her up a lot more and reminisce about all the hard work they did together to keep the restaurant going. He feels cheated because after they retired they only had a few years before she got really sick with various lung ailments. And then it was 6 years of suffering for my Mom AND 6 years of tending to my Mom for my Dad. I think he also feels guilty for having lived and being relatively healthy. We are looking at getting him counseling services.
2) I’d forgotten about my Dad’s anger. Growing up, he always had a quick temper. He’d yell and scream at us and make us really scared. But then after a little bit he’d get over it and be OK. I remember it was tough growing up because I was never sure what would set him off. Thankfully, the really explosive episodes didn’t happen often. (He never hit us. Just a lot of loud yelling and screaming.) I think I got my anger and way to react when I’m angry from him. Because when I’m angry I do the same kind of things: yell, scream, say all sorts of mean, nasty, irrational things.
You wouldn’t know it to see him & talk to him now. He’s a different person now. Much more mellow and easy going. That’s why it caught me so off guard his reaction to my “I don’t know”.
3) With my Mom's various illnesses any call from the parent's number could have been an emergency and always made me nervous & tense. I'm still this way even though she's been gone for almost 5 years. So when I saw it was my Dad I thought it was something important.
My neurosis:
Thinking back now, part of the reason I try to have all the answers and be prepared for a lot of things is because I always wanted to avoid his anger. If he asked me anything I always wanted to have the answer so I wouldn’t get yelled at. If he needed something I wanted to be ready so I wouldn’t get yelled at. I always wanted to have all of my chores/tasks done ahead of time to avoid his anger.
This episode is a perfect example: If I’d remembered when my taxes were due I could have told him I had not paid them yet because they were not due until the end of May. Instead I didn’t know and was frustrated at myself for not knowing AND frustrated at him for asking me out of the blue about them. And YES I’m sure I could have told him I didn’t know in a nicer tone but I was frustrated that he would call me at work over something like this. It’s 1 thing if we’d talked about it before so I knew this question was coming up but I had no idea there was going to be a pop quiz about my real estate taxes when I picked up the phone. And it’s not like he called me at home where I could have easily pulled out my checkbook and had a look and given him an answer ASAP.
Oh yeah that’s another thing about my Dad. If he wants you to do something. That means do it now. ASAP. Or you are going to hear about it!!!
I was also frustrated at him because I was busy at work and didn’t need to be interrupted about something so stupid. (It’s not like I’ve ever missed a tax payment or mortgage payment. I take all bills seriously. Especially house related bills.) How ironic my sister and I were not allowed to get calls at the restaurant while we were growing up because it was the “business” phone. And yet he feels it’s OK to call me on my business phone over something like real estate taxes…. Growing up I probably got less than 10 calls at the restaurant. Not like I had many friends anyways since I was always working or studying so I didn’t have time for friends or activities. It was a lot rougher on my sister who is much more social than I am. I don’t know how my sister made it through adolescence living with those restrictions. I guess there’s a reason she moved 5 hours away after college!!!!!
Labels: Family, frustrations, Parents, Rant
Pulled Chowder
I feel stretched out. Pulled in too many directions. Over-extended. I don't feel like I'm able to meet all the demands/expectations of me. I know it's mostly self-imposed demands/expectations but it's still stressing me out.
I feel mentally and emotionally drained by all these demands. There are days I want a little "me" time. Just to sit & vege or to do what I want instead of what everybody else wants/needs. (Sometimes I hate being a responsible adult) I'm going to blame my parents for pounding responsibility and duty into my thick skull. :-) And now that it's lodged in there I can't get it out. Or even let go a little bit. (I know I need to let go of the peanuts regarding this. It's too damn much. But that's how I feel right now.) So I'm OCD about responsibility and duty. And it's my parents fault. I wonder if I can get a pill for that... Or maybe a grant to study this...
The MCG Jazz concerts help. They give me a few hours of peace and distraction. But even at the shows I catch myself thinking about outside things. I make myself stop and focus on the present and enjoy the show. But the outside thoughts sometime get in the way and it annoys me. So instead of fully being in the present and enjoying the show, I'm thinking and stressing about things.Labels: ChowderHead 101, Family, frustrations, Music, Parents, Rant, show
Riddle me this...Do you have reservations?
- HC and I wanted to go out to dinner Monday night to stretch our vacation out 1 more night.
- We decide to go to a place we've not been to in many years.
- They've got great food but we just keep forgetting to go. We're creatures of habit and they're not part of the habit.
Sooo..... We get to the place and the hostess asks if we have reservations. We say "No" and she says the only seats available will be on their protected outdoor patio. We both look around the dining room and there are maybe 4 tables occupied at 6:30 on a Monday night. HC wasn't into it so we went across the street to another of our favorite restaurants and had an awesome meal. What I don't understand is: Why do restaurants say they don't have any tables available when clearly they have tables available AND the wait staff is just standing around waiting for something to do? It's not like there were only 1 or 2 tables available. This place was empty save for 2 to 4 tables.Anymore, when I get the "Do you have reservations?" question and they give me a hard time, I go some place else. There are so many good choices in Pittsburgh anymore. There's no need to wait or be blown off like that. Sure there are many times when you need to plan a night out and it's wise to make reservations. But I wouldn't think they'd be needed on a Monday night when you have many tables available.This is 1 of my many pet peeves. I don't get it. I don't get it at all... maybe you can explain it to me...
Labels: food, Rant, riddle me this, things I don't understand
Concert, Movie, Show ettiquete 101
I've been witness to some behaviour the past couple of concerts I've attended that has motivated me to write this post:- Turn off your cellphone/pager/PDA. If you need to be in contact that much, maybe you don't have time for a concert, movie, show. Maybe you are just too damn important. (I doubt it) It's simply rude, ignorant, and inconsiderate. If you DO need to have it on, set it to silent or vibrate. And when it goes off, take it outside. The rest of us who paid good money want to enjoy the show NOT hear you on the phone. Last night I saw a couple of people text messaging during the concert. Give me a break. Again, if you need to be in that constant a level of contact, you don't have time for the show. Might I suggest you stay home? No they weren't talking so it wasn't as distracting or rude as talking but still very pathetic that they couldn't enjoy the concert for what it was and needed additional activities/stimulus. I sometimes wonder if they remember what life was like without all these extra encumberances.
- No talking please. I don't mean the occasional comment or chuckle. I mean the constant conversation. If you need to talk, get up and step out of the venue. It's one thing to laugh about something on the screen or something the entertainer said. But for you to sit there and go on and on. That's plain rude, ignorant, and inconsiderate. Some of us actually want to hear what's going on.
- No eating please. It's OK at the movies or at a club. It' OK if you're discreet about it. BUT please DO NOT sit next to me and crinkle the plastic wrap on your box of goobers or whatever you're trying to contend with for 5 minutes!!!! If you don't know how to work the packaging, maybe you don't need it bad enough. Last night this moron was messing around with his box of candy for the first 5 minutes of the show. I stared at him twice. (The good long searing stare.) He was too stupid and/or clueless to get the hint. I was about to say something to him when he finally defeating the packaging. WTF?!? In this country most of us could skip a meal or 2. There's a reason we're the most obese country in the world!! It's not like he would have died if he didn't have his chocolate snack.
- Show up on time. It's rude, ignorant, and inconsiderate to interrupt the performers and audience that bothered to be there at the appointed time. The time is clearly printed on the tickets. Most vehicles have clocks in them. Use them!!! Maybe it's just in Pittsburgh that you will be admitted when you arrive late. I know for the symphony you have to wait until they're done with a movement or a piece. I know in New York they don't let you in until a break when a show has started. Here in Pittsburgh, no problem show up whenever you like. We'll open the door and let you in. 15 minutes late, 30 minutes late, not a problem.
So what are some of your pet peeves?
Labels: clueless, inconsiderate people, Rant, stupid people
Riddle me this…
Why do people order Hot & Spicy food if they can’t eat Hot & Spicy food?
- You wouldn’t order a beef dish if you didn’t want to eat beef.
- You wouldn’t order mushrooms if you were allergic to mushrooms.
So why order something marked as Hot & Spicy if you can’t/don't eat Hot & Spicy?
I hate going to a restaurant and ordering something on the menu marked as “Hot & Spicy” only to be sadly disappointed. Those dishes are ruined by people that order Hot & Spicy and can’t eat Hot & Spicy. Then the restaurant has to tone it down to reduce the number of complaints they get from these cry babies. Why don’t they stick with the other dishes on the menu?
I take the "Hot & Spicy" designation as a warning. No different than: Contents under pressure, Caution: Contents Hot, High Voltage, Do Not Enter.
Labels: food, Rant, things I don't understand
Public transportation woes in Pittsburgh
I don’t have all the details regarding PAT’s problems. What I’ve heard on the news is: In an effort to get out of the bad financial situation ($80 Million in debt) they are in, PAT is proposing to: Cancel roughly 60% of their routes, severely limit the number of busses on the routes they are keeping, layoff 400 workers.
I don’t have any answers. All I have are flippant remarks regarding this situation:
- This is yet another reason for a person/business to move to Pittsburgh. NOT. Pittsburgh has been complaining for years about losing it’s population and businesses. How does making it more difficult to get around this city help the situation? PAT’s cutbacks will neither entice businesses/people to move to this town nor entice people/businesses to STAY in this town. World class cities have good and readily available public transportation. (LA, SF, DC, NYC, Paris, London, Toronto, need I go on?) The politicians in this area need to take this situation more seriously if they truly want to retain businesses and population.
- PAT’s been broken for 20 years. The County Chief Executive said as much in a news conference a few weeks ago when they first announced they were going to do something. 1. Why didn’t they do something to fix this sooner? 2. Why do they care now? 20 years it’s been broken and having financial problems. I’m pretty sure we’d never be able to go 20 years without some negative consequences. (Bankruptcy, foreclosures, etc..) So why weren’t/aren’t the people running PAT being held responsible? I’m sure they collected nice paychecks the whole time.
- It’s the poor, elderly, and disabled that will be hurt by this. I have the option of driving to work. (It would cost me more in parking, gas, and insurance but I can drive to work) Those people who don’t have any other options will be the ones who will be hurt. I heard a few people say on the news they’d rather pay more for the service than have it cut. They’ll find a way to get the money to ride the bus. The bus is their only means of transportation.
- Yeah, how about those stadiums we didn’t want but got forced down our throats! (They’re a real sore subject for me.) I tend to bring them up whenever this area is crying about money for something. (Public schools, roads, public transportation, etc..) I’m sure some of the money used for the stadiums could have been used to fix PAT. Does a new arena for the Penguins really matter in comparison to public transportation? Isn’t it more important that people have a convenient way to get around this town? Sports are nice to have but transportation is a need to have. I know there are many die hard sports fans out there that totally disagree with me but in my mind what is more important: entertainment or transportation? Entertainment is a luxury whereas transportation is a necessity.
- Maybe we can use some of the revenue from the casino’s to fix PAT? Afterall, casino’s seem to be the answer to all of our woes. (Another sore subject) Governor Rendell has got to find a link between the casino’s and a cure for cancer, HIV, male pattern baldness, acne, etc.. to justify his overwhelming support for them. Casino’s are the end all be all.
I’m lucky.
- The 2 bus routes I can take are going to be changed slightly but not eliminated.
- I have the option of driving to work.
- I can afford the proposed rate hike.
- These changes are going to make riding the bus less convenient but still doable.
Labels: Rant
