Update
I haven't been able to post much recently.- Work has keep me crazy busy. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. The project I've spent the past year on is coming to an end for me in the next few months. I'm finishing up a major portion of it these next couple of days. So far, so good. Planning and research on my part has made implementation go much smoother. I'm also training a couple of new guys while I'm at it so they'll learn tips & tricks from me. It's neat being a mentor of sorts.
- My wife is doing OK. Right now she's struggling with the whole baby sickness. I can't call it morning sickness since she feels her best in the AM. The past week she been sick on an every other day schedule. A few weeks ago she was up to feeling pretty good for 3 or 4 days before she had an episode. We go for the second sonogram next week. So we should be able to tell if it'll be a boy or a girl.
- HRH is a little stir crazy from not having much outside exercise. It's just been too cold. I took him for a walk today and my wife took him out to the park yesterday but we know it's not enough for him.
- I've been working on my stress, control & anger. I've been doing surprisingly well with it. I've had a few set backs but I remember my breathing or do some exercises and I'm on a better course. I do feel better and less irritated/irritable. I know it's a better way for me to live.
- Just a few more months until the Miata comes out of the garage and is on the road once again!!
Labels: HC, Health, HRH, jobs, Update
Workin' on it
In my last post I said I was working on stress management strategies. And letting go of things I have no control over.
It's only been a few weeks but I do feel better. I didn't think the results would show up so soon. But I feel less agitated and irritated. I don't feel as much of the weight of the world on my shoulders. Letting go has been liberating. I don't get as pissed at drivers, co-workers, or clueless people. I practice my letting go and it helps!
Now that's not to say I'm back to my good old self. I think it took years to build up to this level of irritability so I'm not going to be back to myself overnight or in a few weeks. But I'm headed in the right direction. I did have a small set back last weekend when I had a bunch of errands to run and felt rushed/stressed. I became irritable and started muttering the same old comments about people. But I recognized it and began doing my breathing exercises and I reminded myself to "Let go".
So it's working. Slowly but surely.
Labels: Health, Update
Chowderhead: Work in progress - Stress, control, and anger
I've been working with my therapist on stress, control, frustration, and anger management.
Stress and feelings of loss of control/no control lead to frustration which leads to anger. Stress & lack of control aren't the only causes of my anger but they are major contributors. She and I are working on strategies for me to use when I feel stressed or out of control. If we can head me off from getting frustrated, then we have a good chance of keeping me from getting angry. We're working on changing the way I perceive things. And coming up with healthy techniques I can use to control my stress and frustration. I need to let go of the things I have no control over. I need to let go of the peanuts more often. I want to change. I want to get back to the way I was. I don't like being angry and irritable all the time. Angry, irritable, catty, bitchy, and prickly are all parts of my personality but I never tended to be any of those things for any length of time. I don't know what triggered me to start being angry and irritable all the time.
No matter. These feelings and thoughts do me no good. They're bad for me. They're bad for my wife. They'll be bad for the baby. They build up inside until I reach critical mass and then I blow up. Like a volcano. Like a nuclear bomb. Laying waste to everything and everyone in my path. Then I'm left feeling embarrassed and ashamed by my behavior. And all the apologizing I have to do to people for acting like such a colossal a-hole. Like I said, these negative thoughts & feelings do me no good.
Some of the things I'm trying to let go of getting upset at: - Lazy co-workers. They don't care. No good would come of me getting upset or making comments about them and their work ethic. They are probably not very happy at their jobs and are trying to get out of it. I actually do enjoy my work most days so I need to focus on me and the satisfaction I get from accomplishing something and doing a good job.
- Lousy drivers. They are clueless and don't care. As long as they aren't hitting me or my car. I need to let it go. Me getting upset or making comments won't affect them or their actions.
- Clueless people: Who jay walk in front of traffic without looking, therefore forcing drivers to slow down for them. Who take up extra spaces on the bus with all their crap. Who stand right in front of elevator doors and try to get on the elevator before letting you get off. Who park their cars so close to your's it's difficult for you to get in your car. Who are too lazy to take their shopping cart to the shopping cart pen in the parking lot or back to the front of the store. They are who they are, nothing I say or do will make a difference in their behavior. BUT I can change how I react and feel about it. Me getting mad at these people won't change their behavior. But it will get me mad and make my blood pressure rise. So I need to let it go.
- My sister: For not coming up & visiting the dad more and helping more with taking care of our dad. For the piss poor job she does when she does take care of my dad. She is who she is. Nothing I say or do will change her behavior. Anything I do say will just make her resistant to coming up more/helping with the dad. So I'm better off changing how I feel about the situation.
Letting all these things get to me serves me no good. It raises my blood pressure, makes me want to eat poorly, gets me crankin' at people that don't deserve my bitchiness. So for 2008 I want to work on getting back to the old me.
I want to be well on my way with this before the baby arrives. I know I'll have very little control when the baby arrives. Other than providing food and a good environment for the baby, we'll have very little control of it's behavior. So I figure the sooner I start the better off everyone in my life will be.
Labels: ChowderHead 101, Update
Updates
- I took the Daddy-o to his PCP the other day. He's doing well. They've been steadily reducing the amount of prednisone he needs to take. His Diabetes is under control. He isn't sore. He doesn't feel weak. His blurry vision & double vision have gone away. He'll be off the prednisone in a few weeks and they hope he can come off the diabetes drugs once the prednisone is out of his system. This takes some stress out of my life & some weight off my shoulders since I've been checking in on him weekly and calling every other day just to make sure everything is OK. And to see if he needs anything. And to make sure he's not getting depressed since that's a side effect of steroid use.
- HC's slowly but surely feeling better. The first few months of pregnancy has been tough on her. She's felt nauseous the whole time. Now the nausea only happens every 2 to 3 days. So it's getting better for her.
- Work was slow during the holidays. So far it's still going kind of slow. So that's good. I'm also due to wrap up my current project and start some others. I'm looking forward to the change.
- I survived the holidays without any major drama/trauma.
- I've been working with my therapist on stress, control & anger management. For me, stress and feelings of loss of control lead to anger. Those aren't the only causes of my anger but they are the major ones. She and I are working on strategies for me to use when I feel stressed or out of control. We're also working on changing the way I see things. I need to let go of the things I have no control over. In other words, I need to let go of the peanuts more often. I want to change. I want to get back to the way I was. I don't like being angry and irritable these feelings and thoughts do me no good.
- We've been going to yoga on a regular basis and I've been exercising more. It's really helped with my stress and with all the food I ate over the holidays.
So this year is starting on a good note. Let's hope it continues this way!!!
Labels: ChowderHead 101, Health, Update
Happy New Year
Happy New Year to everyone. I hope everyone has a happy, healthy & prosperous 2008!
We had a quiet New Years. We had my Dad, H & J over for dinner and hung out until the New Year arrived.
This holiday season was pretty quiet & low key. Just what I needed.
I had a nice bunch of days off. It felt good to be away from work and able to do what I wanted to do instead of what others required of me. We had a nice mix of activities, visiting friends, having people over, going out to dinner, and going to a few movies.
Wednesday morning came way too early. I'd been sleeping in the whole time I was away from work. I really didn't want to go back to work but what choice do I really have?!?! Oh well. Back to the grinder.
Labels: Holiday, Update
