Close but no cigar
I didn't get the job. But I'm OK. I was their second choice and the guy that got the job is great and well qualified so I don't feel like I got looked over. They said they had a really difficult time deciding on which of us they should go with. They said they'd keep me in mind for future positions they may have.I think there are a number of reasons for my calm regarding this: - Their selection is a guy I've known for 11 years. He's a friend of mine and an all around great guy. He knowledgeable and talented. He's a wonderful fit for the job.
- The job requirements are in a state of flux right now so they're not really sure "what" this person will be doing. In my current situation with the baby on the way, it's probably best for me to stay put at a job I know I can do without any issues.
Labels: Colored Parachutes, jobs
Wish me luck
I have an interview tomorrow....I've been in need of a change for a few years. I've been feeling a bit burned out and bored. But I wasn't sure "what" I wanted to do so I figured staying put was the safest move. My old boss got a new job (same company) doing something that may be cool. She has some job openings so I'm going to try out for 1 of the openings. I'm not sure what the job entails but I'll find out tomorrow...Labels: Colored Parachutes, frustrations, jobs
Sorry for the lack of posts...
I'm sorry for the lack of posts. LIFE has been very busy with the baby on the way, getting the house ready for said baby, work, spring on the way so the garden will need attention, etc, etc, etc...So here's a quick update on Chowderhead's world:- I'm putting the finishing touches on the project I've been working on for the past year. The feeling of accomplishment is nice BUT I am ready to move on. I'm through with it!!
- We’ve been working on the game room: We painted, installed new light fixtures, and put in new carpeting 2 years ago. We bought a ventless fireplace, new bar, and storage chest last year. We didn’t see any sofa’s or entertainment centers we liked so we held off on those items. Until now. We found furniture we liked and now it’s in our game room. The room is almost complete. (As close to complete as we're going to get at least) There are just a few things that need to happen: I need to transfer my 1,000,000 CD collection into the storage units we purchased and secure them to the wall. We need new window treatments. Those old beat-up, nasty, vertical blinds have to go. We wanted to get the game room in order before continuing with the baby room.
- We’ve sold off the full size bed that was in the designated baby room. We need to move a family heirloom trunk somewhere. We need to get rid of/move a sewing machine that belonged to my wife’s grandmother and a small end table. New carpet is a must. It’s the last room in the house that has not been re-carpeted in the 11 years I’ve owned the place. Once we figure out where the crib & etc are going to be placed, my wife is then going to paint birds & animals on the walls. It'll be very cool once she's done with it.
- HRH is doing OK. Now that all the critters are coming out of hiding, he’s barking up a storm. It got so bad that we went to Petco the other night & bought a citronella anti-barking collar. The collar has a microphone & citronella spray pump on it. When HRH barks, the microphone picks it up, and he gets sprayed in the face with citronella spray. According to the marketing info it’s quite effective at training dogs out of barking AND it's more humane than shock collars. (J’s sister had a Jack Russell and this collar worked like a charm on him.) My wife (the 1 who wanted a dog and LOVES HRH) said “Let’s go. Right now!!!” because she was ready to kill HRH the other night. He kept finding things to bark at. So between the lack of sleep and the hormonal rage she was felling he just missed getting killed…..
- We went to the Byham Theater a few weeks ago and saw a live taping of the NPR show "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell me.." It was a very entertaining night. The people on that show are very witty and quick thinkers. It was interesting to see how they put a radio program together. The radio shows always sound so polished on the air but to see the behind the scenes work involved gave me a new appreciation of "what" is involved to make it sound so smooth.
- I'm itching for Miata season. 10 days & counting down!!!
- And the best for last: We saw the OB/GYN yesterday morning and everything is OK. 26 weeks and counting!!! The baby’s heartbeat sounds good & strong. You go baby girl!!!!
Labels: Baby, Family, Health, house, HRH, jobs, Update
Update
I haven't been able to post much recently.- Work has keep me crazy busy. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. The project I've spent the past year on is coming to an end for me in the next few months. I'm finishing up a major portion of it these next couple of days. So far, so good. Planning and research on my part has made implementation go much smoother. I'm also training a couple of new guys while I'm at it so they'll learn tips & tricks from me. It's neat being a mentor of sorts.
- My wife is doing OK. Right now she's struggling with the whole baby sickness. I can't call it morning sickness since she feels her best in the AM. The past week she been sick on an every other day schedule. A few weeks ago she was up to feeling pretty good for 3 or 4 days before she had an episode. We go for the second sonogram next week. So we should be able to tell if it'll be a boy or a girl.
- HRH is a little stir crazy from not having much outside exercise. It's just been too cold. I took him for a walk today and my wife took him out to the park yesterday but we know it's not enough for him.
- I've been working on my stress, control & anger. I've been doing surprisingly well with it. I've had a few set backs but I remember my breathing or do some exercises and I'm on a better course. I do feel better and less irritated/irritable. I know it's a better way for me to live.
- Just a few more months until the Miata comes out of the garage and is on the road once again!!
Labels: HC, Health, HRH, jobs, Update
Update
Busy, busy, busy. Does it ever slow down?
With the nice weather, we’ve been slowly but surely getting the garden ready for fall/winter. Cutting down/pulling up the flowers that are done or past their prime. (I’d rather do this chore with pleasant weather versus cold & wet.) We’ve also squeezed in a few top down car rides where we can. The leaf colors are awesome right now. And since it's been raining, I’m glad we got the rides & chores in when we did.
My Dad’s health took a down turn. He’s usually in pretty good health (arthritis, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. But that’s it.) He likes to go for his daily walks and does his best to stay in good health. Well a few weeks ago he complained about feeling sore and weak all over. I thought it was the flu and told him I’d check on him in a few days to see if it had passed. His symptoms didn’t get any better or worse so I thought it would be wise to take him to the Doctor. They poked & prodded and drew some blood samples. My Dad has Polymyalgia Rheumatica. The good news is: It’s not life threatening and is treated with low doses of Prednisone. The bad news is: He’s going to need to take Prednisone for at least a year. And his pain/soreness is only about 40% gone. So my Dad’s feeling sore, weak, and tired.
Work has been hectic. The project I’m on is full of surprises. Twists & turns. This goes back to my big complaint about being better informed of their needs. If they’d invite me to more of the meetings/calls I could ask the questions that need to be asked and help to minimize the surprises.
HC is doing well. Her part time gig gets her out of the house so she interacts with people. She likes her co-workers so it’s not a big drama for her to go to work. She’s also working on a few sketches for some potential clients.
HRH is busy keeping our house free of: cats, squirrels, chipmunks, birds, and ground hogs. I don’t know how he does it. It’s a full time job.
I went to the MCG for a concert last week. A lot of fun as usual. It was nice to stop and enjoy a concert.
The weekend was busy as usual. Saturday we went to yoga, bought groceries & pumpkins in the Strip, took HRH to Hartwood Acres to get his run on, and met up with C & D for dinner.
Dinner at Eleven was great. (We were there a while back for our anniversary dinner.) The food, service, and atmosphere were wonderful like last time. Eleven paced the meal very nicely. We never felt rushed or hurried. It was nice to get caught up with C & D. We hadn’t seen them in 4 or 5 months so there was a lot of news & happenings. And even though it had been a while, as soon as we sat down it felt like no time had passed since the last time we were together.
Sunday I did more chores, washed 2 of the cars, and watched most of the Steeler game. I had to turn it off after 3 quarters. They were just not playing up to their usual level AND it was getting late so I headed to bed. I’ve learned when they’re playing badly I need to turn it off and go do something else or I’ll get aggravated. And then when it’s bedtime I won’t be able to fall asleep quickly because I’m aggravated. It’s better for me to do something else than watch the game and get progressively pissed off.Labels: Family, frustrations, jobs, Update
Musings at 3:00 am
A couple of nights ago I couldn't get back to sleep. I hate that. Sometimes I'm able to get right back to sleep. Other times I'm up for hours. And then I'm useless the next day...Here's what rattles though a Chowder's head at 3:00....- Ideas to fix problems at work. E-mails I need to send out. Call I need to make.
- Things to try on the new laptop to get it to print to the F'ing printer. I've wasted countless hours on such a basic task. Piece of sh!t. I can't belive it's being such a pain in the ass. I know it'll be something simple...
- Try to relax & get back to sleep.
- Things I want to get for the Miata. Shiny good!! Must pimp my ride....
- Holy Sh!t I'm going to be 43 soon.
- Turn on the satellite radio and surf for something to listen to. That'll do it!!
- Money. No I can't pimp my ride this year. I've spent so much on cars this year. My desire to pimp my ride must wait until next year. It's nice to have NOT need to have kind of stuff.
- How about breathing exercises? That'll help me relax & get to sleep.
- House projects: patio, front walkway, roof.
- Worry about where we're going to get the money for these projects.
- I've got 7 more vacation days to burn by the end of the year. Where to go. Where to go...
Labels: Birthday, Cars, ChowderHead 101, frustrations, house, jobs, Miata, Random things..
Do I have to....
Go back to work tomorrow? After such a great weekend, I'm working up the strength to go back to work tomorrow. I need to remind myself "I work for the money. So I can have nice things, go to nice places, etc..." It's not about the job anymore. I used to really love the job but now it's just something to pay the bills. My life, family, and friends are more important. I need to remember this, take a step or 2 back, and NOT care so much about the politics & BS. Let them say what they will. I just need to show up & do my job.Labels: frustrations, jobs, Time to get on with my life
What's been going on?
Sorry I haven't posted recently. Here's what's been going on...Work: Hasn't let up. It's kept me running around like a chicken without a head. They have no idea what they want but they want it ASAP, yesterday if not sooner. And they don't tell me what they need and then get on conference calls and complain!?!? How can I help you when you don't let me know your needs? I've been trying to remember to do my breathing exercises to keep my stress at a manageable level. (It's helped a little) I've been walking HRH after work. That's helped too.Miata: Finally all fixed up. New clutch & glove box lock. I'm tops down again!! Oh I forgot to mention the new glove box latch was needed because someone tried to break into the Miata when we went up to Morraine State Park a while back. They stole a pair of $5 sunglasses from the center console and broke the lock on the glove box. You know whoever they are are really hard up when they need to steal $5 sunglasses. I hope they enjoy the cheap sunglasses as much as I did. I'm glad they didn't get into the glove box though since I had a 12 CD holder in there...HC: She's doing well. Busy with work and getting sporadic painting jobs here & there. HRH: Unsatisfied with the amount of food & toys his peeps give him. Always planning his next escape attempt in search of the land of food-&-toys-a-plenty.The Daddy-o: Doing well. He's been going on his daily walks. He's in good spirits. He had me took into a trip to Montreal for him last week. (I've stopped telling him it's cheaper if you plan your trip at least 14 days in advance.) It's his money and he can spend it however he chooses. I'm not used to him being this way. All my life he's been very frugal with money. So to have him pass up the opportunity to save some money for the same service/item is strange to me. But I guess it does add to the spontaneity AND besides he's not getting any younger so you never know...Me: Still frazzled & burned out. I need to get motivated to find my "What's next?" HC's been very supportive but I need to get motivated to read my "What Color is your Parachute" book and do the exercises. Most days I'm so tired at the end of the work day all I want to do is go home & hide. Thinking is T-H-E L-A-S-T thing I want to do. But I need to do it. I'll know when the time is right. I've noticed in my life things do happen for a reason. If I can see & learn the lesson I'm supposed to, I'll move on to the next phase/step in my life. Oh yeah. It was my birthday last Tuesday. HC took me to Whisper's Pub for dinner. The food, service, and atmospere were very nice. We'll be going back!Kids: We're back to going back & forth. Concerns about risks to HC's health. Concerns about having the time, energy, and money to raise a child. Concerns about how it will change our lives. We like our life together now. What's a child going to do to the mix?!?! Concerns about how good a parent I'd be. After all, I'm not the most patient person....Labels: Birthday, Cars, ChowderHead 101, Colored Parachutes, Family, frustrations, HC, HRH, jobs, Miata, Parents, Time to get on with my life, Update
Since I’m on a rant…
I know another part of my funk is:
I’m tired:
- Of busting my ass at work.
- Of co-workers not doing their jobs.
- Of being continually under the stress of being outsourced/laid off/right sized.
- Of always being conscious of my financial situation.
- Of having to work more than play/rest.
Between work and school, I've been at it for over 30 years and damn I'm tired. I’ve been working since I was 10 or 11 and I’m tired. There’s got to be more but I just don’t know what it is. I’m going to take more breaks during the day to try and keep from burning out further.
Now for the ridiculous….
I’m tired:
- Of people on cell phones. Do you think you’re alone? We can hear you & your inane conversation.
- Of stupid drivers. Do you mind paying attention to what you’re doing with thousands of pounds of moving metal?!? Maybe there’s more than just you on the road!
- Of stupid drivers on cell phones. Again, do you mind paying attention to what you’re doing with thousands of pounds of moving metal?!? Maybe there’s more than just you on the road!
- Of stupid people.
- Of self-important people. The world in general DOES NOT care who you are OR how important you think you are.
- Of lazy people.
- Of people with more money than brains.
- Of people that have no business having children and yet they do!!! There are tests, licenses, and taxes for everything else. Why not having children?
- Of people.
As for the ridiculous list. Well, it’s ridiculous. I was on a roll so I thought I’d throw some of my pet peeves in there.
I’m a bit disillusioned with life at the moment. I’m not sure what I was thinking being a grown up was going to be like. But I guess I thought there would be “more”. I don’t mean I thought I’d be ruling the world or have a gazillion dollars. But I thought there’d be more to life than getting up, going to work, taking care of people, and doing chores at home.
I need to find and do fun things.
I know everything happens for a reason. And everything that’s happened has made me who I am. But damn it I’m tired of it all. There are days I’m tempted to get in the car after work and just drive. And not stop until I hit water (Pacific, Atlantic, Arctic, Ant-arctic)
Labels: frustrations, inconsiderate people, jobs, Random things.., Rant
Step up!
My crank, angry, and stress factors have been going up as of late. It’s taking a lot less to set me off. It’s taken me some time to figure out what’s up.
Part of it is: I’m mentally & emotionally exhausted. For the past 10 years, we’ve been attending to sick parents. All 4 of them have taken their turns and had their episodes. (Other than my Dad, all of it long term conditions.)
This last episode with my Dad really got me upset and thinking.
I’m fed up:
- Of always being the ones (HC & I) who “step up” and take responsibility for things.
- Of siblings not helping out with parents & their issues.
- Of siblings picking and choosing what they want to do, what they don’t want to do, and when they want to do it.
- Of always having to be the “Better person” and step up, or having to place my needs on the back burner.
How come it’s always us? How come we don’t get to pick & choose? How come it’s always us taking care of things? How come we always have to be the “Better person”? Where’s my “get out of responsibility” card?
If everyone stepped up and/or cooperated it’d make it easier for all concerned. I know I’m not perfect. I know I have flaws but come on people step up!! Just a little?
I know I can’t do much about getting others to step up to responsibilities. All I can do is adjust my attitude about it. Maybe try not to get so worked up about it. Maybe try to avoid them so I don’t open my mouth and say something I’ll regret later. It is what it is. They are who they are.
Labels: Family, frustrations, inconsiderate people, jobs, Parents, Rant, things I don't understand, Update
The velvet cage
A friend of mine used this analogy to describe the trap you get in with Corporate America.
They make it comfortable for you to stay even though you may be unhappy. All the benefits and amenities a big company can afford to give to its employees. Your job/career at the company is a cage. A velvet lined cage but a cage none the less. And the longer you stay the harder it is to leave because you are that much closer to retirement or getting that extra week of vacation or vested in your pension plan, etc…
The benefits and amenities are a factor that make it tough to leave a job once you’ve been there a while. It’s definitely something I have to consider before I make any move. Labels: Colored Parachutes, frustrations, jobs, Time to get on with my life
Hello - long time no post...
I'm still here. Sorry I haven't posted much. Some days I get home and I feel so drained it's all I can do to eat and/or make dinner. Then I'm done for the night. Work is heading in a better direction. It has a way to go but at least things are looking up.Life is heading in a better direction. I've been cranky, impatient, and bitchy towards people as of late. Fortunately for you, you haven't been around to experience it first hand. My wife has caught the brunt of it. I'm trying to be better about it but sometimes I just want to be left alone. Some me time. No conversation. No chores. No activities. Let my brain resolidify.
I've started to read the What Color is your Parachute book. It's made me think about my situation. About the good, the bad, and the ugly. The big thing is the reminders of the good aspects of my job. I've been so focused on the bad & ugly as of late I forgot about the good.
There is plenty good about my job AND the really fortunate position I'm in.
- Good paying job with benefits.
- I'm well regarded by my peers, managers, and customers.
- I usually get a fair amount of latitude regarding how I plan and execute projects.
- My manager is really good about allowing my to take time off as I need it (vacation, medical issues, etc...)
So yes. There are some pluses to my current job & position. It's not all a suckfest. I need to keep this in mind as I think about what I want to do next with my life.Labels: Colored Parachutes, frustrations, jobs
Chowderhead 101 - Restlessness
Restless, hyper, all over the place, fidgety. These have all been used to describe me. I get that way. I’m always curious. Always wondering “Why”, “Why not”, “How”, “What’s next”. I hate feeling like I’m stuck in a rut. I want to experience things. I always want new stimulus. New challenges. I want to be out in the world seeing/doing. I’m never satisfied. I feel stifled otherwise. And then I get cranky!!!
My restlessness is currently manifesting itself with my job.
All my life, I’ve been taught to focus on a good paying job with good benefits. But now I’ve become restless/dissatisfied and need/want more. I want a job I LOVE. OR at least a job I see value in other than paying the bills and keeping us alive. (I don’t need to save the world but a job that’s more meaningful/satisfying would be nice.) I’ve always known what I am currently doing isn’t what I want to do the rest of my working life. I like it mostly but I don’t LOVE it. It pays the bills and it pays well. Most days I’m happy to get up and go to work. But the past few years it’s been out of duty and responsibility as opposed to looking forward to being there doing my thing.
The disorganized, poorly thought out project I’m working on is really bringing these feelings to the surface. Most of the time I can ignore these thoughts and feelings. OR rationalize that a good paying job with benefits is more important. But my dissatisfaction has been building up for a bunch of years now and I think it's finally reached critical mass and can’t be ignored anymore.
We’re at a good point in our lives to think about these things. Financially, we’re secure enough for me to make a change. Life wise, we’re not particularly tied down to any lifestyle we need to maintain. No kids to support. No particular place we have to live. We feel secure enough in ourselves and each other that change will be OK.
We’re not wealthy so some kind of money making proposition is required. But now I need to figure out what I want to do next? So what’s next? What to do? What to do?
Step #1: Read What Color is your Parachute? And go through the exercises.Labels: ChowderHead 101, Colored Parachutes, frustrations, jobs
Hurry up aaannndddd wait
Sorry I haven't posted much recently. WORK has been a bitch and I had browser problems on the home PC. Computers. I hate them!!!You know the phrase "Hurry up and wait"? Well I did the hurry up part for this project a few months ago. Then there was the wait part. And now we're back to the hurry up part! So I've been hurrying. And hurrying. And hurrying. Like I said previously, I've been getting progressively burnt out/restless the past few years and this project isn't helping. All I know is everything happens for a reason. And maybe this is what I needed to show me it's time to move on. More about this in another post. I'm going to run some errands today. 1 of which is to pick-up that "What color is your parachute" book. Labels: Colored Parachutes, frustrations, jobs, Time to get on with my life
