Vacation - Background
We’ve needed to get away, far away for a while. Work, LIFE, and families have really ground us down. It’s been a few years since we took a big trip. (2005 to Wine country Napa & Sonoma Valley.) In 2006 we took a couple of modest trips and a small break over the 2007 Easter holiday. Anyways, the point is we needed to get away from it all. We needed to go someplace where we didn’t know anyone AND didn’t have responsibilities or duties.
Why Costa Rica?
We brainstormed and narrowed it down to Costa Rica or Greece. Then we thought “If we are going to have kids in the next few years, which of these destinations would be more kid friendly?” We thought Greece would be kid friendlier so we went to Costa Rica while we were kid free! We were both interested in seeing the rainforest and the animals. I’d read a few years back about Eco-tourism in Costa Rica, how they were trying to preserve the environment while letting people see the rainforest, and how it was the next big thing. It sounded very cool & exotic. AND I’d get to see monkeys!! I love monkeys. I think they’re fascinating. How they move, how they solve problems, and the expressions on their faces.
Where in Costa Rica?
We decided on the Manuel Antonio area because it had a nice mix of beach and rainforest available to us without a lot of running around. HC likes to go some place and unpack. She doesn’t like to spend a few days here, then pack and go someplace else, etc.. She doesn’t feel relaxed or resting when she’s constantly on the move like that. It feels hectic to her.
Puddle jumper or shuttle van?
While making the arrangements I was debating “How” to get us from SJO to Manuel Antonio. There’s no easy way to get anywhere in Costa Rica (CR). Option #1: 20 minute puddle jumper ride OR Option #2 a 3.5 hour van/bus ride. The cost was close so I went with the van just in case we were late. The puddle jumper companies have a NO Refund policy and they “may not” re-book us on a later fight. (On further research there was also a 30 pound per person luggage weight limit. I pack pretty light but I don’t think I could have made the 30 pound limit for a 10 day trip.) I also wanted to go with the van ride so we’d get a chance to see more of CR. I figure it’s hard to tell anything apart from an airplane. But at ground level you’d see a lot. AND we’d have 3.5 hours to see it!!
Getting there:
PIT to CLT was a breeze. No issues. We had a 1 hour delay leaving CLT. Something about a malfunctioning flight attendant panel. It was worth the wait. Maybe it’s me but…I’d hate to find out the panel wasn’t working right at 30,000 feet!
As soon as they said we had to wait until the panel was fixed, I was glad I’d selected the shuttle van service. We would have missed our flight from SJO to Quepos. And been S-C-R-E-W-E-D.
Once the mechanical problem was fixed, we got to SJO, our luggage, through immigration, and to the shuttle van no problem. It was raining but that was the van driver’s problem not mine. I was glad I didn’t attempt to drive in CR because they believe in driving “guidelines” more than driving laws in CR!! Double yellow lines are kinda pretty but not strictly adhered to. (At least they use turn signals and honk politely to let you know they’re going to do something not in the textbooks.)
Lodging:The hotel was basic but close to Manuel Antonio National Park. When we’re going on a big trip like this, I tend to spend more money on excursions, souvenirs, and meals than on lodging. I feel as long as the room is clean and comfortable we’re good. Besides, other than to sleep and to use the bathroom I figure we’re going to be out & about. NOT spending too much time in the room or on the hotel grounds.This post is getting L-O-N-G so I'll write more tomorrow about the actual trip.Labels: Holiday, travel, vacation
Quotes
From my sisterDon't let crazy people make you crazy
From HC regarding my sister cooking for us and her menu selections.Let go, let Grace
From HC regarding HRH.He's a good boy with issues
They are so right!!!Labels: Family, food, HRH, Random things.., Scrap of Wisdom
We're back
Hey we're back. Safe & sound. We had a great trip. I'll write more when we're unpacked, cleaned & organized.Labels: Holiday, travel, vacation
Vacation Countdown update
T minus 16 hours and counting.
Our flight leaves from PIT to CLT at 8:40 in the morning. We're very excited. I've got all my clothes & etc picked out. It's just a matter of packing.
I've already promissed to have 4 drinks for people while I'm down there.
I'll write when I get back the weekend of 5/19.
See you at the airport!!!
Labels: Holiday, travel, vacation
Parents...You can't live with them. You wouldn't be alive without them.
The story behind the yelling & screaming on my Dad’s part last week: (Sorry it took so long to post this but I was a bit too mad to write about this rationally)
The Daddy-O called out of the blue last Wednesday afternoon to see if I’d paid the Real Estate taxes yet. I was annoyed because he 1) called me at work 2) over something so trivial and 3) I didn’t have the answer for him.
I remember replying in a frustrated “I don’t know?!” He didn’t like my tone, started yelling, and hung up. Like a dumb ass, I called him back right away to try to talk to him. I should have let him cool down a bit before calling back. (I take after him. If I’m mad it’s better of you let me be mad for a bit before talking to me. I’m not ready to talk. I’m ready to scream. I’m ready to say mean, angry, nasty, irrational things.) Anyways, I called him back and he continued his rant and hung up on me again.
Background:
1) The Daddy-O has been a bit sad/depressed about my Mom’s passing. She’s been gone over 4 years and he’s really been good about her not being around. It was rough in the beginning but he had been good since then. The past few months he’s been a bit moody and irritable. He’d also bring her up a lot more and reminisce about all the hard work they did together to keep the restaurant going. He feels cheated because after they retired they only had a few years before she got really sick with various lung ailments. And then it was 6 years of suffering for my Mom AND 6 years of tending to my Mom for my Dad. I think he also feels guilty for having lived and being relatively healthy. We are looking at getting him counseling services.
2) I’d forgotten about my Dad’s anger. Growing up, he always had a quick temper. He’d yell and scream at us and make us really scared. But then after a little bit he’d get over it and be OK. I remember it was tough growing up because I was never sure what would set him off. Thankfully, the really explosive episodes didn’t happen often. (He never hit us. Just a lot of loud yelling and screaming.) I think I got my anger and way to react when I’m angry from him. Because when I’m angry I do the same kind of things: yell, scream, say all sorts of mean, nasty, irrational things.
You wouldn’t know it to see him & talk to him now. He’s a different person now. Much more mellow and easy going. That’s why it caught me so off guard his reaction to my “I don’t know”.
3) With my Mom's various illnesses any call from the parent's number could have been an emergency and always made me nervous & tense. I'm still this way even though she's been gone for almost 5 years. So when I saw it was my Dad I thought it was something important.
My neurosis:
Thinking back now, part of the reason I try to have all the answers and be prepared for a lot of things is because I always wanted to avoid his anger. If he asked me anything I always wanted to have the answer so I wouldn’t get yelled at. If he needed something I wanted to be ready so I wouldn’t get yelled at. I always wanted to have all of my chores/tasks done ahead of time to avoid his anger.
This episode is a perfect example: If I’d remembered when my taxes were due I could have told him I had not paid them yet because they were not due until the end of May. Instead I didn’t know and was frustrated at myself for not knowing AND frustrated at him for asking me out of the blue about them. And YES I’m sure I could have told him I didn’t know in a nicer tone but I was frustrated that he would call me at work over something like this. It’s 1 thing if we’d talked about it before so I knew this question was coming up but I had no idea there was going to be a pop quiz about my real estate taxes when I picked up the phone. And it’s not like he called me at home where I could have easily pulled out my checkbook and had a look and given him an answer ASAP.
Oh yeah that’s another thing about my Dad. If he wants you to do something. That means do it now. ASAP. Or you are going to hear about it!!!
I was also frustrated at him because I was busy at work and didn’t need to be interrupted about something so stupid. (It’s not like I’ve ever missed a tax payment or mortgage payment. I take all bills seriously. Especially house related bills.) How ironic my sister and I were not allowed to get calls at the restaurant while we were growing up because it was the “business” phone. And yet he feels it’s OK to call me on my business phone over something like real estate taxes…. Growing up I probably got less than 10 calls at the restaurant. Not like I had many friends anyways since I was always working or studying so I didn’t have time for friends or activities. It was a lot rougher on my sister who is much more social than I am. I don’t know how my sister made it through adolescence living with those restrictions. I guess there’s a reason she moved 5 hours away after college!!!!!
Labels: Family, frustrations, Parents, Rant
Vacation countdown
T minus 5 days and counting. Costa Rica here we come!!!
I'm going to do some serious "Letting go of the peanuts" I think I've earned it with everything that's happened this year: Work, the family, HC's miscarriage, etc...
I plan to spend time on the beach and in the rainforest. Drink, eat, hike, drink, eat, drink, and drink.
I wish I'd started sooner with my Spanish lesson tapes. I think they're handy. I've learned some simple phrases that will hopefully help us get by. No I'm not going to hold in depth conversations but at least I can ask for some basic things politely. And I'll have a slight chance to understand what they're saying to me. I'm sure we'll be fine with the little bit I've learned. (It's the typical me wanting to be prepared/worrying) We were OK in France for 2 weeks with the paltry French I understand/speak so I don't think Costa Rica will be much different. We'll be in touristy areas not in the backwoods where no one in the village speaks English. Labels: Holiday, travel, vacation
Pulled Chowder
I feel stretched out. Pulled in too many directions. Over-extended. I don't feel like I'm able to meet all the demands/expectations of me. I know it's mostly self-imposed demands/expectations but it's still stressing me out.
I feel mentally and emotionally drained by all these demands. There are days I want a little "me" time. Just to sit & vege or to do what I want instead of what everybody else wants/needs. (Sometimes I hate being a responsible adult) I'm going to blame my parents for pounding responsibility and duty into my thick skull. :-) And now that it's lodged in there I can't get it out. Or even let go a little bit. (I know I need to let go of the peanuts regarding this. It's too damn much. But that's how I feel right now.) So I'm OCD about responsibility and duty. And it's my parents fault. I wonder if I can get a pill for that... Or maybe a grant to study this...
The MCG Jazz concerts help. They give me a few hours of peace and distraction. But even at the shows I catch myself thinking about outside things. I make myself stop and focus on the present and enjoy the show. But the outside thoughts sometime get in the way and it annoys me. So instead of fully being in the present and enjoying the show, I'm thinking and stressing about things.Labels: ChowderHead 101, Family, frustrations, Music, Parents, Rant, show
Not enough hours in the day
There are not enough hours in the day for everything I need/want to get done. It's very frustrating. It's one of the reasons I'm seeing the EAP rep at work.
It's making me crazy trying to be the best worker, best husband, best son, best homeowner, best ??? all rolled into 1 AND within the 24 hours in a day we all have to work with. I try to do my best but always seem to be falling short somewhere. And then I get mad at myself for it and beat myself up...
Case in point this week:
- Work was pretty busy. I didn't have much scheduled at the beginning of the week. But as the days went on I was busy every day until quittin' time.
- After work I've been working on cleaning and sorting through my stuff.
- Tuesday night: I went to the Manchester Craftsmen's Guild for Bob James and the Angel's of Shanghai. It was a very entertaining concert. It was interesting how the group was able to combine the Jazz of Bob James and the traditional Chinese instruments. Very cool.
- Wednesday: I managed to get my Dad to yell at me over the phone and hang up on me. This will be another post. But suffice it to say I felt like a bad son.
- I took today & tomorrow off. I needed to get some things done around the house (cleaning, sorting through my stuff, gardening) & run some errands.
- Tonight: I went to A Night of Guitars presented by Earl Klugh at the MCG. Another really good show. The 3 guitarists played wonderfully. And you could tell they were having a blast on stage.
So yes this demanding life is really stressing me out because I don't feel like I'm able to meet all the demands/expectations of me. I know it's mostly self-imposed demands/expectations but it's still stressing me out. I feel pulled in so many directions. And stretched too thin everywhere. I wish I had more time to do everything I need to do.
Labels: Family, frustrations, Music, Parents, show
Weekend update
Friday night we hung out & relaxed.
Saturday we went shopping in the Strip District. We picked up all sorts of groceries for a steal. Going to the Strip always brings back childhood memories for me. I’d always accompany my Grandfather when he went to the Strip. It was always fun watching him interact with the produce people. Amazing how they all got a long, their colorful banter, and the price negotiations. What characters! Wholey’s was always a stop and I got to know a lot of the people there as well.
During a dry spell I took HRH out for a little exercise. He was mostly good. Until he got distracted by a ????? “Fair market value at time of death” What more can be said?!?
Saturday night more errands and dinner at Mad Mex. What? Again?!?! You were there last weekend. Yes. It is one of our favorite casual places to go for food & drinks. And there are a few of them so we’re always in the right part of town to go to Mad Mex.
Sunday was a beautiful day. We cleaned around the house and went furniture shopping.
HC felt the need for a storage solution for all of our summer cushions for the patio furniture & etc. We needed it in the dining room close to the patio so it needed to look nice and be functional. She also needed storage for her painting and arts & craft supplies. Robinson Towne Center seemed like a good place to start. For her work supplies I figured we could get something from IKEA. IKEA cabinets are very customizable, look OK, reasonably priced, and decent to assemble. We ended up with 2 large wardrobes for her supplies. We hit another furniture store and found a nice armoire to store our summer cushions, candles, lighters, etc… AND since we were furniture shopping… We found 2 pieces to replace the old bar/wall unit in the game room. The thing we’re using for a bar is getting on 30 years old. It’s a wall unit I got in junior high. In the intervening years, it’s been used as my desk, entertainment center, hobby table, and bar. It served me long and well. But now it’s time to move onward and upward. Who knew we’d end up buying all this furniture?!?!
This is typical of us when it comes to furniture shopping: We start out looking for 1 thing and end up finding something completely different. Case in point our dining room table and buffet. We were looking for an armoire but I stumbled across the perfect dining room table. I wanted something big & sturdy. Big enough to have at least 8 to 10 people sit around it. Sturdy enough to hold all the food, plates, platters, etc for 8 to 10 people. As a bonus, there was a matching buffet. Oh well, the armoire had to wait.Labels: Darwin award candidate, house, HRH, Weekend Update
