Since I’m on a rant…
I know another part of my funk is:
I’m tired:
- Of busting my ass at work.
- Of co-workers not doing their jobs.
- Of being continually under the stress of being outsourced/laid off/right sized.
- Of always being conscious of my financial situation.
- Of having to work more than play/rest.
Between work and school, I've been at it for over 30 years and damn I'm tired. I’ve been working since I was 10 or 11 and I’m tired. There’s got to be more but I just don’t know what it is. I’m going to take more breaks during the day to try and keep from burning out further.
Now for the ridiculous….
I’m tired:
- Of people on cell phones. Do you think you’re alone? We can hear you & your inane conversation.
- Of stupid drivers. Do you mind paying attention to what you’re doing with thousands of pounds of moving metal?!? Maybe there’s more than just you on the road!
- Of stupid drivers on cell phones. Again, do you mind paying attention to what you’re doing with thousands of pounds of moving metal?!? Maybe there’s more than just you on the road!
- Of stupid people.
- Of self-important people. The world in general DOES NOT care who you are OR how important you think you are.
- Of lazy people.
- Of people with more money than brains.
- Of people that have no business having children and yet they do!!! There are tests, licenses, and taxes for everything else. Why not having children?
- Of people.
As for the ridiculous list. Well, it’s ridiculous. I was on a roll so I thought I’d throw some of my pet peeves in there.
I’m a bit disillusioned with life at the moment. I’m not sure what I was thinking being a grown up was going to be like. But I guess I thought there would be “more”. I don’t mean I thought I’d be ruling the world or have a gazillion dollars. But I thought there’d be more to life than getting up, going to work, taking care of people, and doing chores at home.
I need to find and do fun things.
I know everything happens for a reason. And everything that’s happened has made me who I am. But damn it I’m tired of it all. There are days I’m tempted to get in the car after work and just drive. And not stop until I hit water (Pacific, Atlantic, Arctic, Ant-arctic)
Labels: frustrations, inconsiderate people, jobs, Random things.., Rant
Step up!
My crank, angry, and stress factors have been going up as of late. It’s taking a lot less to set me off. It’s taken me some time to figure out what’s up.
Part of it is: I’m mentally & emotionally exhausted. For the past 10 years, we’ve been attending to sick parents. All 4 of them have taken their turns and had their episodes. (Other than my Dad, all of it long term conditions.)
This last episode with my Dad really got me upset and thinking.
I’m fed up:
- Of always being the ones (HC & I) who “step up” and take responsibility for things.
- Of siblings not helping out with parents & their issues.
- Of siblings picking and choosing what they want to do, what they don’t want to do, and when they want to do it.
- Of always having to be the “Better person” and step up, or having to place my needs on the back burner.
How come it’s always us? How come we don’t get to pick & choose? How come it’s always us taking care of things? How come we always have to be the “Better person”? Where’s my “get out of responsibility” card?
If everyone stepped up and/or cooperated it’d make it easier for all concerned. I know I’m not perfect. I know I have flaws but come on people step up!! Just a little?
I know I can’t do much about getting others to step up to responsibilities. All I can do is adjust my attitude about it. Maybe try not to get so worked up about it. Maybe try to avoid them so I don’t open my mouth and say something I’ll regret later. It is what it is. They are who they are.
Labels: Family, frustrations, inconsiderate people, jobs, Parents, Rant, things I don't understand, Update
Sister
Maybe we spent too much time together growing up & working together. Maybe it has to do with 2 strong personalities with strong opinions. Maybe this is how brother’s & sister’s get along. Maybe we’re more alike than I’d like to think. Whatever it is, my stress level is always elevated when my Sister is around. I’m trying to be better about “letting go” and not being pissed at her actions but it’s tough. I’ve tried not to be so vocally critical of her the past few years. But sometimes she does things that just confound and piss me off.
#1: Why? Come up to “Take care” of the Dad. And then make all sorts of evening plans to go out to dinner with your friends. HC says it’s fair and OK since she’s around in the morning and afternoon. I think if she wants to see these people she should come up another time. Her reason for coming up this time was to take care of her Father who was going to be recuperating from surgery.
#2: Why? Say you’re a morning person but don’t end up getting out of bed until after I’ve made Dad breakfast and/or I am heading out the door to go to work? I’m not a morning person. Never have been. Never will be. Would never say I was. 1 morning I heated up breakfast for my Dad. The next morning my Dad heated up his own breakfast. It’s not the cooking that irked me since my Dad is more than capable of cooking for himself. It’s the I-came-up-to-take-care-of-you-but-I’m-still-sawing-logs-like-crazy-when-you-need-me that bothered me. Again, HC said my Dad is not a subtle man. If he needs something he’ll let you know. If he wanted her to make him breakfast he would have let her know. Very true but still it bugs me. Interesting fact is: she got up early (6:00 am) to get her ass back to DC?!? Funny how that happened…
I think it has to do with our differing thoughts and feelings about duty & responsibility. She’s always been the 1 to do just enough to get by. She can/could do so much more but has always chosen to do just enough to get by. For example, she could have gotten A’s in school but B’s took less effort. She’s smart and talented and could do anything she set her mind to. But she chooses not to.
I was required to do the best I could. Sometimes better than I thought I could. B’s were not an option. “I’m the son. It’s my responsibility to _________. It’s my job to ________”. Failure is not an option. Doing poorly is not an option. I must be better than everyone else. No time to relax there is always a task that needs to be worked on.
Maybe I’ve got it wrong and my sister has it right. I’m driving myself to excess stress and an early grave. Maybe I need to slow down and just get by once in a while. Maybe I need to not be pushing so hard. So critical of myself and others.
I’ll need to think on this. This may be another revelation… I’m on a roll!!!Labels: Family, frustrations, Parents, Rant, Update
So what's been going on?
What's been going on? Why haven't you been posting as often as you usually do?Well, Now that things are slowing down I have time to let you all know what’s been going on the past few weeks.
Work: As busy as ever. Always something going on. I need to slow down a little bit. I’m always trying to do too many things at once. I get them all done but I’m frazzled for it.
I made a realization the other day: “Other than lunch and bathroom, I don’t take any breaks throughout the day.”
I’m either at my desk with e-mails & calls or at meetings. Some people take smoke breaks. Others take coffee breaks. I need to slow down and take a few breaks throughout the day myself. I think it’ll help my stress level and mental state.
LIFE: Within a few days of us coming back from Costa Rica, the Dad went in for out patient surgery. The surgery was a success and he’s doing OK and recovering now.
Last July he went in for a Transurethral Resection of the Prostate. We refer to it affectionately as “The Roto-Rooter”. The resection was a success BUT a side effect was 1 of his testicles swelled to the size of a DUCK EGG. I don’t know if you know “how” large a duck egg is….BUT it’s bigger than a chicken egg AND certainly bigger than a human testicle should be. Anyways, his Urologist said this is common and “give it a few months for the swelling to go down”. Well the swelling didn’t go down so the Dad had to go in for a Left Hydrocelectomy. And since the urologist was there, he threw in a Cystoscopy and Uretheral Dialation. The Dad’s plumbing is as good as new and he should be peeing like a champ now. My Suster was thinking of nicknaming my Dad "Left Nut"....
So yes, within a few days of coming back from a very relaxing, lovely vacation we had my Dad recovering with us for a week. My Sister came up from DC to help out. So it was a full house. And full of activity.
All of this commotion took the wonderful relaxing vacation feeling and flushed it right down the toilet. It left me
wondering if it wasn’t a big waste of money. I felt great while I was there but that relaxed, calm feeling didn’t make it a week once I got home!Labels: Family, frustrations, Health, Parents, Update
Weekend Update
Friday night we went to the Pittsburgh Arts festival. It had been a few years since I’d gone to the Arts festival. I’ve stayed away because the last time they had more booths/things I considered crafts than art. This year’s Arts Festival was better than I remembered/feared. They had less space to work with so I think the organizers were more selective.
Saturday I ran some errands and spread cat litter in the garage. The next time I get all OCD/Anal about something, slap me and remind me about my delusional need to water seal the garage. I gave it a few days for the water sealant to dry. Parts of the garage floor were perfectly dry BUT there were some sticky/slick patches. I went to Home Depot to get answers/solutions. The man told me to use cat litter to absorb the excess water sealant. So I spread cat litter Saturday afternoon. We went to J’s for drinks and snacks in the evening. What wonderful weather we had!
Sunday we went to the Air Show. The Air Show was neat. I love airplanes but had never gone to an airshow since I hate crowds. The organizers did a good job to handle all the cars and people. The lots were well marked, the shuttle busses were plentiful, the facilities at the base were well marked and plentiful. It was an awesome experience. I got to see stunt planes, Cobra attack helicopters, an F-18, an F-15, and the Thunderbirds all in flight. I’ve seen many of these aircraft in museums but it’s very different seeing them in action. As an anti-climax, I cleaned up the cat litter and re-organized my garage. I'll be posting Costa Rico pictures shortly. Sorry it's taking so long. LIFE has kept me very busy & stressed. I'll need to post about it too!Labels: Weekend Update
Weekend Update
It was busy but good:
Friday night we had J & D over for dinner. I made marinated steaks, black beans and rice, and a salad. I also made a fresh salsa verde to go with chips as an appetizer. I love salsa verde, it has such a fresh bright flavor. We would’ve eaten outside if the weather had cooperated.
Saturday I ran some errands and emptied out the garage & power washed it. Now I'm waiting for it to be totally dry before I water seal it (I know, I'm being totally Anal/OCD/Neurotic about the garage floor but ...) I braised some chicken thighs and made a salad. The weather was so nice we ate outside!!! We lit the chimnea later in the evening for ambiance. It was the perfect end to a good day.
Sunday we went for a hike and ran a few more errands. I vacuumed out the cars and leather treated the Audi. We met up with S$& A for dinner @ Point Brugge. The food was great as usual.Labels: house, Weekend Update
Costa Rican Vacation - Part 2
Activities:
Hiking and beach time at Manuel Antonio National Park: We had a guide take us through Manuel Antonio NP the first time so we knew what we were looking at. It was worth the money to have someone experienced point out the different plants and animals. We would have walked past most of it without the guide. Such diversity. It was amazing.
We went back to the NP a couple of times to hike the trails and go to the beach. The rainforest goes right up to the beach. It’s neat. I’m not used to the forest/vegetation being right up to the water. On 1 of our hikes we encountered some white faced monkeys. We were walking along taking it all in and HC notices some white faced monkeys a few feet away from us right off the trail. They were busy foraging for food paying no attention to us. As HC was taking pictures of the ones in front of her, a monkey came from behind her and started fiddling with her bag. She turned to swat at it thinking it was me messin’ with her. The look she and the monkey had on their faces was priceless!! They were both surprised and shocked. It was hysterical!! It was great. It made my trip right there. I’ll never forget it. We watched this group for 10 or 15 minutes before they moved on. We ran into a few other groups of monkeys each time we were on the beach. It was the coolest.
We also saw Iguanas, Jesus Christ Lizards, and gecko’s. There was also this raccoon like animal called a Coatimundi that walked right past me as I was on a bench reading a magazine. It was very casual about walking on the beach. I guess it was looking for hand outs. I watched as 1 of the park rangers grabbed a handful of sand and gently tossed it in it’s direction. The Coatimundi took the hint and left. The rainforest was just so cool. So much to see and experience.
Canopy tour: It was OK. As HC put it “This is their Kennywood” It was more thrill ride than tour of the canopy. I was expecting to spend more time up there looking at the trees and animals. But we were busy zip lining from 1 tree to another. Now don’t get me wrong, zip lining from tree to tree was out of sight but I thought I’d get to see & learn more about the flora & fauna.
Snorkeling and sightseeing cruise: The water was choppy so the ride was a bit rough. It had been raining the night before and the red tide was out so the water was very cloudy. So we didn’t go snorkeling. But we did spot dolphins and a sea turtle. And there were just a few clouds so weatherwise it was lovely.
Beach time: We spent a bit of time on the beaches. Between Manuel Antonio NP and walking the public beaches. Cancun’s sand was finer and whiter but I like the CR beaches well enough. CR’s beaches were better than Aruba’s beaches which had coarser/grittier sand. And it’s been so long since I’ve been to Grand Cayman I can’t compare. I remember liking it though. The surf was rough since it had been raining and it was “Green” season. (A euphemism for rainy season.) The thing we kept in mind was “it needed to rain in order to keep everything so lush & green.” Besides it’s a “Rainforest” so what did we expect?!?Sumary: We had a great time in CR. The people, sights, and food really made it memorable. We wouldn't hesitate to go back except for the l-o-n-g list of other places we want to see. "It's a great big world out there!"Labels: Holiday, travel, vacation
Costa Rican Vacation - Part 1
Since work & LIFE have been keeping me overwhelmed I decided to break up my CR vacation post into multiple posts. This will keep each post from getting too L-O-N-G.CR was a blast. A thoroughly good time. Would I recommend CR? It would depend on who you are and what your interests are. I wouldn’t recommend CR for shopping or theater. But I would recommend CR for outdoor pursuits, relaxing, and hot weather.
The people:
Warm and friendly. Not just the workers in the hotel or restaurants but everywhere we went. Even the bus drivers were nice! This really added to the experience (and lowered our stress) since we didn’t speak much Spanish. I felt comfortable with the very basic phrases I knew, but there’s no way I could hold a conversation. (Unless it was with a 3 year old) The people were gracious enough to switch to English as soon as they heard me butchering their language. They were nice about it. They knew I was trying and I think that was enough for them. I wasn’t pulling the typical American attitude of “Everyone should speak English! It’s the official language of the universe. If YOU don’t understand me, I’ll speak English louder & slower. ”
The food:
From the nicest place we ate at to the local hang out bar: reasonably priced, consistently good, and fresh. The seafood was amazing. We were right down the road from the port town of Quepos so I’m sure a lot of the daily catch ended up in Manuel Antonio. Everyplace we went to had fish on the menu and had it cheap. Tuna and Mahi-Mahi were the most available but Swordfish, Sea Bass, and Snapper were also on the menus. Grilled, blackened, fried, baked. You name it they prepared the fish that way!! The chicken was also good. Don’t bother with the beef. (It was stringy and a bit tough.) But the seafood rocked!! The typical CR side dish to a meal is black beans & rice. (Including breakfast. How about bacon & eggs with black beans & rice? You bet!) You might think black beans & rice are pretty boring but every place did it a little differently and it was usually pretty good.
We ate at some pretty cool restaurants: El Avion, Barba Roja, Anaconda, Restaurant Marlin, El Gran Escape. Again all good, reasonable priced, friendly, and fresh.
El Avion: Was the most unique since part of the décor was a CIA C-123 cargo plane. The view of the ocean and coastline was breathtaking. The food was good & the waiters were funny. They were always joking with their customers.
Barba Roja: The food was really good. The view of sunset over the ocean was awesome. A Pirate theme. What more could I want? The second time we were there we watched a storm roll in and a lightning show over the ocean. Very cool.
Anaconda: Probably the fanciest place we ate at. The food was really good. A very diverse menu with a lot of European influenced menu items. Wonderful view of the ocean and coastline. I felt like I was in a big fancy tree house.
El Gran Escape: Seafood. Seafood. Seafood. Good & fresh. The portions were large and the people were warm & friendly. The décor was fun & tacky. All kinds of fish & fishing related paraphernalia.
The Restaurant Marlin: Was our local hang out. The food & drinks were good & cheap. The people were nice.Labels: food, Holiday, travel, vacation
Riddle me these...
We saw this name of a restaurant while we were cruising around last weekend:Wok in Heaven
Questions: - Do you need to cook in Heaven?
- Do you need to eat in Heaven?
Food & eating are topics that were never discussed in Catholic school.
_____________________________________________________________We saw this on the bumper of a vehicle:I did it!!! Made the Honor Roll of Hampton Middle School.
Questions:- I know there's a minimum age for getting a driver's license so this person is either too young or may not be particularly intelligent for his/her age. So which one are they?
- If they are too young, should they be advertising this?
- If they aren't the brightest, should they be allowed to operate a vehicle? I know I think most drivers are rude, self-absorbed idiots anymore BUT there is a minimum amount of intelligence and judgement required to operate a motorized vehicle.
- Furthermore, shouldn't the bumper sticker read " I made the Honor Roll..." instead of "Made the Honor Roll..."
- Is this person living in the past and should just get on with their life?
Labels: Random things.., riddle me this, things I don't understand
